Beyond Avoidance: Why Feeling Your Emotions and Bodily Sensations Is Essential for Mental Health

As a psychiatrist, I often see individuals having difficulty with feeling their emotions. We often get the cultural message that having emotions is weak or that it gets in the way of doing our jobs. Mental health challenges like depression and anxiety also push us toward avoidance of our feeling. We learn to tune out our emotions and the physical sensations in our bodies —a reaction driven by fear and overwhelm in the case of anxiety, or by a sense of being numbed out in depression. This impacts our ability to make informed decisions that are based on balanced thinking and feeling to guide us in the right direction in life.

While ignoring feelings and bodily signals offers a momentary reprieve, it's a short-term solution with long-term costs. When we consistently tune out, we risk what I call "emotional constipation." The feelings don't disappear; they get "stuck," only to erupt later in ways that feel out of control and may lead to behaviors misaligned with our values.

The path forward is simple, yet powerful: we must start checking in with ourselves, both emotionally and physically. This self-awareness helps us see the patterns in our reactions to the environment and our thoughts. It's only with awareness that we can create the space for change.

Decoding Your Emotional Landscape

One of the first hurdles many people face is simply labeling their emotions. Humans share a small, powerful repertoire of basic emotions—fear, anger, disgust, happiness, sadness, and surprise. These are evolutionary tools, designed to signal danger or motivate us toward survival.

Yet, our emotional lives are complex. Emotions can blend, exist in varying degrees, and even mask one another. For instance, a strong feeling of anger might be covering up a more vulnerable feeling like sadness or helplessness.

To gain clarity, tools like an emotion wheel can be incredibly helpful. They provide a vocabulary that moves beyond "fine" or "bad," helping us identify the core emotion we're experiencing.

Example: You snap at your partner for not tidying the house after a grueling day at work. The initial feeling might be frustration (a lower degree of anger). But if you check in deeper, you might also find helplessness, which is connected to sadness. Identifying both feelings before an outburst allows you to choose to address the situation rather than merely reacting and making things worse.

Saying you feel something does not reinforce it; it’s a launching point for action and resolution.

reference: https://feelingswheel.com/

Understanding Emotions as "Parts" of Ourselves

The thought of "owning" a negative feeling can be difficult. Who wants to be labeled an "angry" or "anxious" person?

It can be helpful to view emotions not as defining labels, but as "parts" of us. This concept is popularized by therapeutic models like Internal Family Systems (IFS) and, yes, even in children’s films like Inside Out.

When we label an emotion as part of our self—"a part of me is feeling anxious" instead of "I am an anxious person"—it removes some of the stigma and allows us to take ownership. We can then listen to what that "part" is trying to tell us, creating the space to make changes that ultimately improve life for ourselves and those around us.

The Clues Below the Neck: Your Body's Wisdom

If you struggle to access or clearly define your feelings, your physical sensations are often the best clue.

Our bodies are magnificent signalers. A racing heart and quick breaths often point to anxiety. A heaviness in the chest can signal sadness. That familiar stomach drop or face flushing? Likely embarrassment.

There is scientific evidence to support this connection. A 2013 study examining bodily maps of emotions found that across cultures, basic and complex emotions reliably map to specific areas of the body:

• Anger, for example, is often felt intensely in the face, chest, and hands.

• Sadness is concentrated in the chest but can also be marked by a sense of reduced sensation in the periphery.

Reference: L. Nummenmaa, E. Glerean, R. Hari, & J.K. Hietanen, Bodily maps of emotions, Proc. Natl. Acad. Sci. U.S.A. 111 (2) 646-651, https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1321664111 (2014).

Using this kind of knowledge can help us determine what emotion we are feeling when the mental label is missing.

This is precisely why mindfulness practices are so essential. They train us to tune into our bodies—to listen not just to our thoughts, but to the sensations "below the neck."

Physical Sensations from Overwhelm

Anxiety and stress can present with a racing heart, shortness of breath and sweating palms, but sometimes we have other body sensation are not caused by adrenaline coursing through our system. Some sensations like a tight chest or a headache are a behavioral responses—unconscious physical habits we adopt to manage stress and tension in our environment.

The Hidden Costs of Stress

Think about how you react when things get intense:

• Do you shrug your shoulders? This common habit can lead to upper back pain.

• Do you clench your jaw? That can result in TMJ dysfunction and pain.

• Do you tense your neck? This is a fast track to neck pain and stress headaches.

  
  

These are your body's silent cues. Learning to pay attention to them is the first step toward understanding the underlying emotion you might be feeling.

Tune In with a Body Scan

A Body Scan is a simple, yet powerful, practice for tuning into these cues. When you do it, the goal isn't to change the sensation, but simply to notice it.

Try this: when you find a spot of tension, take a breath into that place. Don't try to force the tension to leave. Just acknowledge it. This act of noticing helps your body start learning where it habitually holds stress. By simply acknowledging the tension, you help your nervous system begin to regulate, and the tension will often start to slowly diminish on its own. This acknowledgment can be the moment you realize you need to listen to your feelings and take a break—not just keep pushing forward. Your body is telling you what your mind is trying to ignore. Listen to it.

I hope this post helps to you to start pausing and noticing what is going on below the neck. Learning to process and acknowledge the wisdom of both your emotions and your physical body is a fundamental step toward better mental health, allowing you to move from a life of reaction to one of conscious action.